Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Do authors have large families who are assigned to put out 5-star reviews the minute a book is published? How are you supposed to find a decent read when you can't trust reviewers? For this review I'll let the author speak for herself; then you can decide if you want to go further. At H & H's first date - lunch at a fancy Atlanta restaurant - he's got a hard on the whole time because he can't stop staring at her chest with its nipples like "pearled beads." Ooh how romantic! She tells him an erotic dream she had of him and an image of her "slender long red toenails" pops into his head. Now that's hot! She storms out on him but forgets her car keys, so what does she do? Shimmies under the car in the restaurant parking lot in her new black silk dress to get the spare key, of course, just in time for him to come out and look up her dress. She won't come out, so he crawls under there with her, where she's got grease on her face and she's crying, which makes his "gut clench." Aw, couldn't be sweeter, could it? Somehow, under the car, she manages to elbow him in the groin. What a laugh riot (though you gotta wonder where that darn spare key is)! He dangles the keys she'd forgotten in front of her and she snatches them from him (exactly how much room are they putting under BMW sportscars these days anyway?). They crawl out from under the car - no awkwardness there - he kisses her for about 4 pages (longer than any conversation they've had), and he knows something special is happening, but she's scared and hops in the car. As she drives off "a bolt of lightening struck the sky." So, if you get this book, don't say you weren't warned.