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Looking for a near death experience?
This product needs be thrown in the boxing ring to get an ass whopping from all of Joe Rogan's Onnit athletes. Or maybe it should be given to his fear factor contestants to see who can function longest through the side effects of extreme vomiting and the slow, taunting approach of near death.
Needless to say, I deserve an award for surviving these capsules of evil. Though writing this is likely to send me into a dark, PTSD-induced coma, I will share regardless, with the hopes that it prevents one of you eager consumers from going through with a purchase.
The first time I took the capsules, I had mild hot flashes and nausea but thought maybe it was my body adjusting to the ingredients. It was unpleasant but wouldnt describe it as debilitating. My husband also had a similar experience after taking two, and was lethargic and felt "just off."
We then each took two capsules the following day and felt completely fine.
The third day taking the capsules was worse than that time I was stung by 72 murder hornets and had to cover my skin in the blood of baby raccoons to draw out the venom, but I digress.
So, two hours after consumption the fun began. A rush of heat washed through my body as if the sun herself was melting into me. It was instant, intense, and I immediately knew I had made a big mistake taking the capsules that morning. As quick as the hot flashes hit me, so did the accompanying symptoms of nausea, dizziness, and blurred vision. I made my way to the bathroom just in time for the first wave of vomiting. Within an hour, my symptoms became so severe that I could barely talk, barely walk, move, hold my head up, or keep my eyes open. My heart was beating faster than the pace at which white women run towards Target on a black Friday. Think about it...thats dangerously fast.
I actually thought I was dying and asked my husband to come home so that I wouldn't be alone when it happened. He found me laying on the bathroom floor in a position I'm fairly sure I fainted into. I almost muttered for him to call an ambulance but frankly, didnt have the energy to even do that. I dealt with all of this for about six hours when the nausea finally subdued long enough that I could eat a few crackers and drink some water. Any attempt at eating or drinking prior had resulted in my body immediately rejecting it right back up.
Its been 11 hours since I took the capsules and I still feel like a trash can. The most fun part is that my skin still feels both numb, and like its shedding on account of the all the sweat seeping from my pores.
If you like living dangerously and decide to try this product out, do so strategically. By that, I mean make sure you have a will in place and have prepared goodbye letters for your loved ones.
This product is crap and 10/10 would never recommend unless you enjoy the feeling of puke in your mouth. I said what I said.
August 2020 · Health and Household · verified purchase