Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I read a great deal... often devouring 6 books a week on my Kindle. So when I see a new series, I like to purchase the entire series so I can get a good feel for the author. I do not like leaving negative reviews, but instead constructive criticism that I hope the author takes to heart to become a great author. I see that potential here. The Positives: The story line is excellent. It has a different twist from the many paranormal/magic style stories out there, filled with adventure. It has a large character base with plenty of room to grow and develop additional stories. It has a strong moral code base, plays at strong female roles, and a nice young love story. The Negatives: The writing style is still immature. Granted I know nothing regarding the age of the author, but I would suspect a great deal of the writing could be fixed with a strong editor and a writing coach or professor. Instead of smooth transitional sequences within scenes, I feel I am getting a list of items in the scene, lending it to a very robotic reading and lacking heart. For instance (now I am paraphrasing as I do not have my kindle handy), lines stating I had eggs, waffles, and sausage for breakfast with orange juice. How does this help the story line? How is this remotely interesting? Individual steps do not have to be told in the story, instead a nice flow of the story, again from a good editor and instruction in creative fiction writing will benefit this author. Spelling/incorrect word use is also prevalent throughout the book and the series. So if this irritates you as a reader, be prepared. I am still working my way through the second book, slowed down by poor flow of the story and word choices. For instance, the oh too common now seemingly interchangable use of: There, Their, They're; Who, Whose, Who's; Choice, Chose, Choose; Loose, Lose, Loses, Loss. So in summary... the storyline/plot is excellent. But hopefully the writing style of the author continues to grow and improve.