Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

This book came highly recommended from several of my mom friends, so when my son showed interest in the toilet for the first time at 18 months because he witnessed older kids at daycare using the restroom, I ~devoured~ it. Front to back, with highlighting and studying-for-an-exam level note taking. Unlike others, I don’t mind the author’s tone, her humor is right up my alley. Our house at the time was all tile or hardwood and our couch is from Goodwill because we have pets, so there was no anxiety on my part about cleanup. I knew what to do, and I was mentally prepared. Day 1 was nothing but puddles and turds on the floor, but whatever, I said to myself. I reminded myself that he was learning. Day 2 went okay with 50% pee success and even a poop in the pot. Hooray, right? Except on day 3, as Jamie put it, it turned into “trying to stuff a cat into a bucket of water”. Screaming, crying, physically fighting me to scramble off the pot, having a fit even if I only prompted him every 2 hours. I tried to keep going for 2 more days, until everyone was in tears. EPIC FAIL #1 Reassured by the author herself that one reset wasn’t the end of the world, especially with a kid under 24 months, we tried again just after he turned 2. Same exact crap (pun intended!), different month. EPIC FAIL #2 At this point, I began to panic a little. You can’t do a reset twice! Gotta work through that resistance! Don’t let your stubborn toddler win this one! Must not go back to diapers! Ahhhhh! Except we were then due to move across the country, so the choice was out of my hands. At 32 months - supposedly now we were in the “danger zone” 🙄 - my son once again showed interest in bathroom matters. Third time’s the charm, right? WRONG! Just like with the previous two attempts, the resistance kicked in STRONG on day 3. No, I was not hovering. No, I was not over-prompting. We had potty chairs literally in every room and hallway of our 4 bedroom place (including the living-room, dining-room, kitchen and basement). Yes, my son was developmentally ready. He just didn’t ~want to~ potty train. EPIC FAIL #3 By now, feelings of shame, utter failure, and mommy rage, were seriously starting to affect me. Why was this 4.5 Star rated method not working??? Was I a horrible, inattentive parent? Well, they say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting different results. So I did a deep dive into all things potty training. First of all, while it’s true that kids were being potty trained younger in previous generations, we can also not ignore the fact that society in general, but especially parenting, has changed. Children are not oblivious to the fact that life as a whole has become much more democratic. Kids pick up on the fact that outside of what happens in their own homes, most matters regarding children are gravitating towards a child-led approach. No matter a toddler’s age - whether it’s 18, 24 or 36 months - you simply cannot coerce them to use the potty. So the whole section of the book about working through resistance is BS. There is no natural or logical consequence that works in your favor here when kids refuse to cooperate with toilet training. They don’t clean their room? Okay, then they don’t get screen time. They don’t wear a jacket in 45 degree weather? Well, you’ll be cold, kiddo, not me. They don’t want to potty train? Well, what are you gonna do? Yell? Spank? Develop an alcohol problem? Secondly, how come we all accept that each kid is different and that they may all develop on their own timeline, except when it comes to potty training, 3 is the alleged cutoff? During my frantic research, I found very few reputable sources that would reassure me that my almost-3yo wasn’t “delayed” or “toilet resistant”. Nearing a full-blown mental breakdown, I contacted several more of my mom friends - not the same ones who’d recommended Oh Crap! - who had 3-6 kids each. “How old were your kids when they were potty trained?” I wanted to know. “So-and-so was 2, but so-and-so was 3, almost 4,” they’d reply. Okay, at least I’m not the only one with a 3yo still in diapers. Phew! I’m not the worst mother on the planet, yay! “How’d you potty train them?” I’d then ask. “We didn’t”, they’d ALL say. EXCUSE ME, WHAT??? “One day, my kids just decided to do it. Sure, we had the occasional accident for another 6-12 months, but once they were ready, they just did it,” was the overwhelming consensus. Yeah right! Surely they were kidding?! They were not. What they recommended, especially those who had “strong willed” boys like mine, was essentially the same prep phase as recommended by Jamie Glowacki. Open bathroom door policy, daily books about the potty (and/or YouTube videos), role playing with a doll or a stuffed animal, describing the bathroom habits of pets, practice practice practice them independently pushing their pants down... Okay, I’d done that with him since he turned 1. Then what? What do I do? Nothing. You do NOTHING. No, really. Think about it. Special needs kids aside, have you ever seen a kindergartener in diapers? I teach K-5 and I haven’t. Unless there’s a return to work deadline looming, why are you rushing this? If you’re sick of changing diapers, I feel you, but don’t pressure your kid because of it. If you feel like people are judging you, f*** them! And if you really do need to go back to work, you’re better off finding a daycare rather than a school, where staff will be supportive of the occasional 36+ month old in diapers. They ALL start using the toilet... eventually. A month after our third disastrous Oh Crap attempt, I was literally mid-business when my son burst into the bathroom. “MAMA MOVE, MAMA MOVE! I PEE, I PEE!!!” Literally scrambling off the toilet, I watched in utter disbelief as he pushed the step stool over there from the sink, got up, and peed. Wipe, flush, wash hands. “Okay Mama, me all done.” (Yes, he has a slight expressive speech delay) WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! Surely that had to be a fluke? Nope. Here we are, 6 days later, and he has 1-2 “half” pee accidents/day, max. Aka he starts to go because he puts it off just a little too long sometimes, but then stops himself, and runs to the bathroom. Then immediately tells me cleanup is needed. He takes himself to the pot to pee AND poop without me ever saying a word. I’m neither kidding nor exaggerating. So please. Do not beat yourself up almost to the point of going crazy like I did if your kid and the Oh Crap method just don’t vibe. They’re either truly not ready, or the Bootcamp all-or-nothing style just isn’t for them. I do like certain aspects of it, such as the naked phase (I have a mini nudist!), going commando because it makes pulling pants down easier, really focusing on your kid for the first few days, or bringing the potty with you to the park in the back of the car. Hence 2 stars. But don’t get scared into thinking you can never ever use pull-ups or you’ve blown it. And her whole section about night-time training is nonsense. Bladder control while sleeping is developmental (according to several medical professionals I’ve asked). It makes absolutely no sense that kids can consolidate for 2-6 hours during the day - yes, sometimes my son goes 6 hours between pees - but their muscles supposedly magically atrophy at night. It’s a simple matter of being a light enough sleeper (or not) until their bladder is big enough to get them through the night. If your kid is over 6 and still wetting the bed, THAT’S potentially an issue. Not a 3 or 4 or even a newly 5yo, especially not when they’re 100% daytime trained. To make a very long story short... if you have a disaster at your hands, then take a break, go back to the prep stage, maybe buy other books and see if a different approach works better. Mix and match if you need to. And if absolutely nothing seems to work... just give it time.