Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I got a lot of laughs out of this book. Unfortunately, the author did not intend it as a comedy. WARNING: Anyone who cares about the English language should NOT read this book. You will retch. I'll give you some examples a bit later in this review. Aside from the obvious butchery of our language, it is equally obvious this author didn't bother to get a competent editor to look at this work. Why do I say this? The characters aren't credible, the plot just doesn't work, the author tries so hard to be clever and "creative" with words that he winds up sounding like a seventh grader attempting to emulate one of the greats, and give me a break... the bad guy gets away at the end? There is no satisfactory conclusion to the book. Perhaps the author is attempting to lure the gullible into purchasing future books, which I see he has written. I can only hope that he's learned from his mistakes. Okay, here are some of the examples I promised, some of the absolutely wretched writing inflicted on us readers. Note: what follows is a mere sampling of the comedic blunders with which this book is riddled. If you see a misspelling, please assume (sic) immediately following. "There was a mutual, cosmic tear that her and her intended soul mate needed to mend." "'This is going to be one hell of a vacation,' he clenched. 'At least for me.'" [character name]... "let out a soughed breath and left this world, windpipe crushed like a twig in a vice." "The words [on the paper] reached out and grabbed him by the front of his uniform." "She purged a full belly laugh." "...after he had wrangled into the black tux..." "Mixed emotions strolled into his mind like they owned the place." "Hot, tingling silence raced up and down [his] body." "'Excuse me,' he smoothed, as he brushed against her." "An uneasy feeling tapped [him] on the shoulder." "His imagination had just taken a trip on the good ship Lollipop." "A wide yawn came to visit while she stood and stretched." "Jenkins staggered to one knee, two round holes braying from the middle of his tank top." "[He] let loose the breath he was hoarding..." "Argyle disagreed, sighting the lack of success in those other therapies." And so it goes. There are many, many more. If you didn't see anything wrong with any of the quotes above, and you don't mind semi-believable plot and characters, then you might enjoy this book. However, for my money, the amount he is charging for this book is too much. Free would be too much. Could it be made better? Absolutely. Tighten the plot, redo the characters to be more lifelike, and for goodness sake, get a good editor to review it (and listen to what he or she tells you) before you inflict it on the public.