Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Men who are considering buying these for your wife, I am a man of some importance, and after years of writing important documents in my study with the quintessential Bic pen, I grew tired of the labour and decided to task my woman with taking dictation from me. I eagerly anticipated hours of luxurious fiddling with complicated puzzles in my now free hands, or gently rolling my thumbs as my wife dutifully took down my wisdom, but I was in for a surprise when I discovered her complete inability to use my mighty Bic!! "Be it here for know..." I would begin, only to watch her falter, dropping my stylus and nearly collapsing from the effort it took her to wield it! I took pity on the poor creature and searched for a suitable implement with which she could fulfill the work I had set before her and after some search came across the BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen. At first I was overjoyed! Finally I could achieve my dream of hands free writing and relax while my wife kept herself busy with recording my stream of brilliance. I ordered the pens and watched with a boyish glee as she opened them on our wedding anniversary (along with the dust pan and oven mitts I got her). At first all went well. At evening in my study, I would sit back and recount amazing thoughts I had had while she worked diligently in the corner filling notepad after notepad with my wisdom. During one particularly long night of dictation, the woman made motion to protest that her wrists were tired, but I reminded her of the gift or language you had given her with your Cristal For Her and that she should be thankful for the chance to contribute to what was essentially the manly realm of creative thought. She quietly went back to her duty and I thought all was well. I have never been more wrong! Months later I decided to inspect the notebooks and to reminisce over my brilliant ideas when to my horror I discovered that she had not been taking down my words at all but rather WRITING WORDS OF HER OWN!!! I was aghast and in a fury! Not only had my vital wit been lost to posterity but the valuable notebooks had been taken up with 'woman's words' and 'woman thoughts'! I could scarcely bring myself to read what she had written and was shocked to discover she had attempted to write on all manner of manly things such as politics, scientific matters, philosophical musings and even tried her hand at creative writing and poetry!!! I felt that my feet were about to give out from under me as I saw my world crumbling around me. Not only had the BIC Cristal For Her Pen corrupted and poisoned my little Emma but now I had the task set out before me to try and undue all the ill the pens had wrought and teach her again that it is not the place for women to try and think independently! I stormed into the kitchen where I expected to find her but she was not there! Quickly I went to the garden but she was not there either! In a panic I ran to the power room, sure that I would find her applying some make-up, but she was not to be found there either! The colour drained from my face as a realization dawned on me. With shaky steps I mounted the stairs I made my way to..... the library... Yes, that is where I went. With a terror gripping my heart I entered the room where I kept all my books, and there, on my desk in the middle of the room sat a heavy tome I knew I had not left there. Approaching with a trepidation you cannot imagine I walked over to where the book lay open. It was a copy of the encyclopaedia Britannica... volume Z; and in it's margins had been written copious notes making corrections and filling in omissions in the distinct marking of the BIC Cristal For Her Pen!!! At that point I lost consciousness. Waking some hours later I and crawling to the phone to phone my doctor for help, I found a letter. "Dear Frank, " it read. "I suppose I must thank you for the gift of the BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen which you gave me on our anniversary. I feel enough courage now to tell you that while at first I was confused by your gift and was not even quite sure what the object was you presented to me, it was still a better gift than the tasteless oven mitts you also gave me. The gifts full worth, however, I had yet to realize. In the proceeding months, as I sat in your study and did what I could to take dictation on what I now realize was a boring surplus of bravado steeped in a long history of insecurity, I slowly gained a comprehension of the beauty and power of the written word. This was not because of the drivel that spewed forth from your mouth, but rather some inherent quality of the pen which seemed to imbue me with a new intelligence and understanding. I began to see the world around me differently. I began to see connections between cause and effect and thought to challenge the ideas and information I had been fed my whole life by the dominant patriarchal society into which I had been born and made a slave to. The pen is indeed mightier that the sword Frank, and I soon found myself cutting deep gashes into the reality I had taken for granted and injecting instead my own vision of who I was and what I could become. I am sorry I used your precious notebooks to record my expanding consciousness, but having not yet any money of my own I could not afford to buy my own notebooks, not yet anyway. I began to feel as the caged bird must feel, no matter how gilded the cage. My newly ignited soul screamed for release and I simply could bare it no longer. After correcting and adding to nearly every musty book in the library I could wait no longer. I had to burst forth and find the life I knew I was meant to live; a life or creativity and expression, of intelligent discourse and deep searching into the nature of the soul and the universe itself. The little life you planed for me could hold none of this Frank, and it is with not much regret that I am leaving. I have, however, left you the BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen, as I am excited to say I no longer need it. Yes, that is correct. I can now use without difficulty a regular man BIC, and I have taken several from your desk to help me on my way. I feel it is the least you could do after so many years of giving me nothing but tea sets and lingerie. I feel somewhat sorry for you Frank, for you are not a bad man but merely a prisoner in a trap of your own devising. I would stay and try and liberate you, but I feel that is a task you must do on your own; though if you ever do, I ask that you do not try and find me, but rather continue to find yourself and remember to be thankful to the BIC company, as they are the true heroes in all of this. Farewell Frank. I won't write." I stared long and hard at what she had written (for some of the words were unknown to me and I had to get the dictionary a few times to finish the letter) but eventually the truth of it all dawned on me. My precious Emma had lost her mind, and was now in a place no man could ever reach her. I cried a little, but then remembered I was a man and quickly blocked my tears with rage. Rage against the company that ruined my marriage and a perfectly good woman! Rage my stupidity for thinking a woman could possibly learn to write and not go insane! And finally rage at nothing in particular because it seemed like I should be mad at something. I then quickly threw away all the BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pens in the house and set fire to the notebooks she had written, trying to cleanse the air of the insanity which had settled in during since our anniversary. I live alone now. I have not tried to find my ex-wife as I could not bear to look upon her; ruined and insane as she is. I have found another woman, one who has no taint of BIC Cristal about her and who smiles sweetly and innocently when I stoke her hair and who I have taught to be very afraid of anything that puts a mark on paper. All is well again in my world, but I would not want any other man to suffer as I suffered and to lose as I have lost, and so, for the sake of you and your marriage, DO NOT BUY THESE FOR YOUR WIFE as they will surely destroy your household as they did mine. Sincerely, Frank