Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Have you watched a season of Survivor that involved Coach? The pathological liar, both tormented and buoyed by his obsession with "honor"? The self-named "Dragon Slayer"? I swear he wrote this book. From page 2 on, I was amused and amazed to have found a book written by The Dragon Slayer. It is hard not to giggle and chuckle when he refers to himself as an "artist", an "intellectual", a "philosopher". By his own valuation he is at once a perfect judge of character, a master in (ALL)the arts of combat, and an expert in just about any skill for which a need arises. Then, I turned the book over and read the author's bio, and there is a picture of Coach! Or maybe his fraternal twin. What is it about honor-obsessed pathological liars that makes them grow a long, thin ponytail and decide to get really into karate? Strangely, for all the people calling this "the best book ever", which "changed the way they look at life forever", the people I spoke to directly were uniformly unable to make it past 200 pages. I only made it through by adopting a "one, two, skip a few, three, four, skip some more" strategy. The author describes an entire scene (skip paragraphs that begin with "The sea was like....., Boats floated on its surface like..., The ash from the fire floated through the air like...." "Her eyes were like..."). Then he tells what happened (read or skim this part). Then he tells us what it meant: "Love is a trickle of water off the nose of a beast of burden that....." "Jealousy is a caged animal that lives in your heart and...." "Obedience is a ninja's sword that...." SERIOUSLY. And now for your moment of Zen: "Night, that tunnel of lights joining promise to prayer..." "I leaned toward her, looking behind her to the left and then to the right. 'What is it?' she asked. 'I am looking for your wings. You are my guardian angel, aren't you?" "Her eyes were large and spectacularly green.... It was the green that the sea would be, if the sea were perfect." "Every movement was a satin skin cascade." "Our lips made thoughts, somehow, without words: the kind of thoughts that feelings have. Our tongues writhed, and slithered in their caves of pleasure."