Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I just recently got this product, and so I sat down to use it and asked it "who am I speaking with". Slowly the key moved to spell out "Billy Mays Here". Immediately after that there was a burst of cold air, and now he won't leave my house. He throws away all of the products I own that he didn't endorse, for example, all of my paper towels. I have to clean all my messes with Zorbeez, as he will not allow me to keep anything else. Its not all bad, I came home on my birthday and he had gotten me a Big City Slider Station, which actually works pretty good.