Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

For years, I toiled away at removing staples with my bare fingernails. Certainly, I thought, there must be an easier way! But these sorts of things take practice; you can't just jump right into high tech staple removing. You have to take baby steps. And so I began working my way through the world of staple removers and embarked on the Darwinian trek of staple remover evolution. Having cut my staple removing teeth (pun intended) on the old-fashioned claw-style staple remover (BAZIC Claw Style Staples Remover, 2 Per Pack), I graduated to the "ultimate" staple remover (Swingline Ultimate Staple Remover, Platinum (S7038121)). Just when I thought I had reached the pinnacle of staple removing ease (after all, the word "ultimate" does mean "the best achievable or imaginable of its kind," doesn't it?), my world was rocked. ROCKED. I had not even begun to imagine the possibilities. I didn't even know what I was missing until I felt the sweet caress of the Stanley Bostich Professional Magnetic Staple Remover in my hand. Contoured to fit my hand, just like my Venus razor, with a comfort grip so that the staple removing calluses on my sore hands could heal at last...how have I ever removed a staple any other way? What sort of life of misery and drudgery have I been living up to this point? I'll tell you: chastised constantly by my boss for my unprofessional staple removing performances; endlessly chasing down loose removed staples, forced to wipe them off my desk and into my trash can on a daily basis, losing seconds of productivity; and nearly severing several of my fingers in a box-opening mishap in 2007. But no longer. Now I am free! Free from staple removing drudgery, free from embarrassing dressing-downs in front of my coworkers, free to open boxes with no concern for my life and limbs. Thank you, Stanley Bostich Professional Magnetic Staple Remover, for taking this dismal life and making it worth living. I can't wait until they introduce the Master Staple Remover (dare I dream? I think I shall!)