Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

These lights have changed the way I feel about my kitchen and life and bedroom closet on a fundamental level. Combined with a buttload of rechargeable batteries, they’re an affordable, life-changing force to be reckoned with. I live in a "cozy" old house that has a "quirky" "vintage" kitchen with "basically one" light in it, although my wife believes horrible garish overhead ceiling lights are acceptable to turn on and use for lighting, which they aren't. I'd rather not see shadows of rotting fly carcasses projected onto my possessions while I'm trying to eat my Dinty Moore over the sink like normal. So, for me, the hood-fan lights above our modern 70s electric coil stove (I'm told electricity is really catching on) are the only functional lighting the kitchen has...until now! Hot diggity, for 35 buckaroons per six pack, I turned my built-before-electricity black hole of a kitchen into a living-beyond-my-means, upper-lower-middle-class hipster coffee snob's wet dream...affordably! No longer are the beauty of my Chemex Hand-Blown series pourover, Baratza Virtuoso conical burr grinder, imported Hario coffee scale, and Bonavita digitally-controlled water kettle lost to the shadows of unappreciative dank corners. Without my new lights, might as well be a Mr. Coffee over there. Nobody could tell anyway. I put them under the cabinets, behind the weird recessed overhang in the corner above my various coffee-snob paraphernalia, and over the garbage can and decorative hand-painted owl key-hanger. They really give the kitchen that Modern Family-esque air of modernfamodernity. I also put one over the basement stairs so I can finally see my organic-flaxseed-seasoned cast-iron collection in the correct 3000 Kelvin twinkle, and one in my bedroom closet, so I no longer struggle to see and pick out one of the two shirts that I wear! They come with screws, but screw that (PUN INTENDED!). They also helpfully come with 3M Destroy-Yo-Paint sticky pads that preclude one from having to waste the battery on one's cordless drill to gouge destruction holes in one's landlord's property. They stick like the dickens. Quite convenient. Did I mention how bright they are? With the new LED pucks turned on, our kitchen now boasts, and I'm not making this up, 12,000 gigabytes of light! Astronauts can see us from the International Space Station! It's really good to know that, if our lights go out, NASA will notice and beam down their bravest Storm Troopers to assist us. The remote control makes it incredibly easy to waste over twenty minutes dimming and toggling the lights in a silent house like a moron child with pretend telekinesis via his Magical Pointy On-Off Phaser. Pew pew pew! On! Off! Dimmmmmm briiiiIIIGGHTT DIMMmmm briiiGGHHTT OFF! OFF OFF OFF! BAM ON! BAM ON! PEW PEW PEW etc. What a convenient feature. All in all, they make this dank old shitkitchen feel much more modern and expensive, and they're cheap as hell and don't require any wiring or hole-drilling or any of that other stuff I'm never going to do. And they're remote controlled, dimmable, and very bright. Oh, and you can click them on and off individually by hand when you just need to, say, find that last can of Dinty Moore in the dark. They are battery powered, and batteries die, and LEDs eat batteries. So the reviewers complaining about how quickly they die apparently thought those three little cylinders inside them were Wireless Electricity Receivers from a world where Nicola Tesla didn't die penniless and heartbroken. Nah bro, they're weak-ass batteries. So I would implore you future purchasers to also buy a load of Eneloop or equivalent NiMH rechargeable AAs, because 1. the batteries these pucks come with are abysmal, B. normal alkaline batteries cause these lights to dim over time (namely, a couple days), and 4. why not save the planet and junk? Also don't expect batteries to be magic, you ingrate. I love these lights with my whole being, and I highly recommend them for spicing up a dumbly-lit existence and room. At the very least, they make me feel slightly more well-off when I'm standing half-naked in my kitchen, eating cold Dinty Moore straight out of the can, bathed in the sparkling glow of LED under-counter puck lights. This must be how rich snobs feel.