Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I love this money-saving system from Trojan. Ever since using this incredible product, I've noticed a marked increase in my wealth and savings account compared to people I know who do not use this product. And the best part? It pays for itself in under 9 hours! Observe: Per the most recent data, the average screaming spawnling costs $14,800 a year as of 2021 (that's $266,400 if he or she moved out exactly on their 18th birthday and never asks you for another nickel in their life. LOL, Fat chance, mom and dad!) This isn't even accounting for the inflation disaster of 2022, so it most assuredly costs much more than it did last year. It also isn't accounting for the fact that your science project is likely to be under your care far, faaaaar after his or her 18th birthday. Decades more. In fact, they'll be leaching off of you long after you've gone belly-up! Anyway, that bleak picture aside... $14,800 divided by 52 weeks is $284.62 per week. $284.62 a week divided by 168 hours in a week is about $1.69 an hour. Ta-da! As you can see, in under 9 hours of you living your life peacefully, the product pays for itself, with years of savings to come! Other inexplicable benefits I've noticed: - My eyes don't have bags. - I've never had deafening screaming in my ear because I didn't buy some creature a pair of Minecraft sneakers. - We almost never get sick. - I'm in charge of wiping one person. ME! - I haven't lost friends due to being at the beck-and-call of some moneypit I convinced myself having was the "greatest thing" I could do in life, looooool It does have its cons, though: - With no expensive creatures to spend money on, my wallet is stretched to capacity. I can't even get my Walgreens card in there now. - There are entire sections of Walmart we don't even go into - I can't get into Chuck E. Cheese without one of those things, and therefore must get my Skee-Ball fix elsewhere - I won't be able to try to relive my youth and minor athletic achievements vicariously through the life of someone else like the potbellied men my age who peaked in high school do with their loinfruit - I'll never know the joy of the admiration of a small relative. Except for the 3 nephews and 6 nieces who adore me. But I understand that that's different somehow. You know, because magic. Thanks for reading my review. I apologize for how rushed it is, I wrote it as I was booking my second vacation to Hawaii this year.