Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I debated between buying this gummy worm, or an IV filled with the blood of a diabetic. I chose the gummy worm, best decision of my life. Not only do I not need friends because this gummy worm is always there for me (I mean come on, would you eat this?). Secondly, I can always rely on this heavy piece of gelatin to weigh down my papers and other miscellaneous loose objects on my desk, where I fill out the paperwork for shenanigans such as burning down African villages and field trips to war torn Vietnam. Again, 10/10 would buy again. 4/5 stars because I haven't poop for 3 months.