Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Little bit about me - I work as an electrical engineer in a manufacturing position, traveling the world and setting up assembly lines for products a few million of you use in your houses. You should get a couple of things from that. 1) I'm not giving you the phone number of my Kyocera Brigadier because I am the guy you want to curse out when something stops working. 2) My last phone looked like it had been rolled over my a truck, a forklift, several sports cars, an elephant or two and 2/3 of the China May Day parade by the time it squeeked out it's last half-hearted attempt to tell me I had a text message from my wife back in America while I was hanging upside down from the ceiling somewhere in Taiwan trying to make something work. 3) I have no patience for pretty and want solid, functional, low upkeep electronics. Pretty fades. I want something that works after I've been working for fourteen hours straight, haven't eaten anything in days and need to get to Google translate on the web to make sure I'm walking into a restaurant and not a gambling house/brothel/local Communist headquarters. When I went to my local Verizon store to get a replacement for my last phone ("Wow dude. What did you DO to that thing?") I told the sales guy I didn't give a crap about phones that looked like small tablets or had fruits on them. I wanted something I could toss off the side of a building and had a battery life that would outlast me. "We don't have those out front, but I think I've got something for you. It's kinda ugly though." I've had this phone for a week and I've never been happier. I don't think it's ugly but frankly I'm not planning on sleeping with it so who cares? I'm not much of a looker either. I've loaded the apps I need and for several days now I've been thrilled everytime I pull it out of my pocket. I didn't need to buy a case. This phone comes in one. I didn't need a screen protector. This phone comes with a screen I can't seem to scratch and even if I did, who cares? It's not like I just marred the Sistine Chapel with graffiti about Killroy. The battery life is insane. I've gone to work with it at 100% and come home at night with it still over 90%. The sound quality is fine. I can hear everyone just fine. Most of the time they are just calling me to complain anyway so I'm not sure I WANT to hear them any better. The "sonic technology" evidently has something to do with vibrating some bone in the side of my head so I get sound without a speaker at my ear. That's kinda cool, assuming it doesn't give me incurable brain cancer. I'm going on faith that it won't. In short, this is the exact phone I would have made if you'd given me the chance. I'm pretty sure by the time I get done beating it to death over the next few years I'll wish I had bought two. I'm a bit heartbroken that I won't have access to that Apple ICloud to store my naked pictures on but I suspect you all will be happy when they don't leak. Great phone. Solid. If it does anything to piss me off, I'll come back and let you know.