Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

As a single Mormon dad, this product has been a life-saver. Since my wives left, I've had to grapple with some hard questions, like How many kids do I have? What are their names again? Is that one of mine? Picking them up from Sunday School involved a little too much guesswork. So I disassembled this device and placed the sensors directly on my children. Now I can tell not only how many I have, but how old they are, which ones are rotten, and who's about to go bad--all from my smartphone. It also helps ensure their safety, because if--God forbid--I ever have fewer than fourteen, I'll get a push notification.