Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I was once asked on the street by a hobo in rags to define epic. I was perplexed. I mean, there is that song by Faith No More, there is nuking the opposition on Call of Duty, there is chugging two liters of beer from a boot and then, there is this. If you are reading this then you are looking at the Alpha and Omega of back mounted property retention systems. Don't you dare call it a book bag. I tried once, it became sentient and cut me on the face, right across the cheek. It did this so others would know, it is no book bag. I made the mistake and live with the scars, don't follow my lead. But on the upside I now have a wicked scar on my cheek which looks double wicked mated with the included eye masks. I believe the back mounted property retention system knew it would look cooler that way, and cutting me was it's way of showing me love. Also, it holds books. Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go!