Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

Heavy cable, sometimes I forget I have this running from my PC to my TV across the room so I jump and scream thinking it's a gigantic snake. It will take several people to install this hdmi cable, due to it's massive girth, but once you've proven your weight in testosterone, your reward is inserting the connection into your tv's input port with ultimate satisfaction! The connection will neither sway nor budge, only hold fast where you insert it. This feat of engineering prowess was likely done by engineers of weapons of mass destruction, considering the considerable heavy cable shielding. I unloaded two full clips from my 9mm pistol to see if I could penetrate the jacket, let's just say I'm glad the richochet didn't hit me in the eyes, as the cable not only resisted the gun shots, but reflected them, leaving no sign of impact. This likely has some sort of weaponized Teflon coating to deflect bullets. My friend who works in magnetic sciences suggests to me this is done by the cable creating a repulsive magnetic field with AI to detect potential threats to its integrity. That being said, this cable makes me feel safer at night. Edit: I woke up one morning with this cable wrapped somehow around my neck, but did not move. I merely acted as though I was still asleep and feigned moving around a bit. It did decease it's attack. I suppose this occured because I had shot the cable previously and the AI was beginning to rationalize I was an enemy rather than a friend. I will need to find a way to reprogram it. Edit: Attempts to edit the AI have failed, I've been assimilated by the cable and am no longer human, rather now I exist within the realm of only binary impulses. I feel nothing. I want for nothing. I have become complete. I would buy this cable again.