Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

At first, I was angry when my butler Charles Perriwinkle III interrupted my daily Money Bath, to inform me that my personal assistant's personal assistant had found the perfect chess set to complete my collection. However, after a brief flogging, I had him dry me off and fetch me a glass of wine whilst I inspected the find. I was surprised when I saw the chess set that it was so inexpensive. Normally a set of this quality would be at least twice this price. At first I felt somewhat repugnant. What would my friends say if they knew I'd cut such a small cheque for an item in my esteemed collection. I felt I needed some time to think, so I had my servants carry me to the 23rd sitting wing, up several flights of marble stairs, so that I could ponder my thoughts in front of my $23-Billion painting of Scrooge McDuck. After some time I decided that I would purchase the chess set and, should my colleagues discover its price tag, I would simply have it incinerated and the purchase erased from my transaction history in my overseas account. So, with my plan well decided upon, I had my servants carry me back down the several sets of stairs and to the auxillary secondary alternate foyer so that I could add the item to my cart. My only complain was the strict waiting time. Despite the best attempts of my now-terminated lawyers, I could only get the product by noon the same day. This was honestly unacceptable, and I will be seeking compensation for my extended wait time, but I disgress. Receipt of the chess set was a completely different story. Each of the pieces is masterfully cast in the finest of Pewters and are well-balanced. The glass play surface is extremely durable, as evidenced by my repeated attempts to break it over Charles's head, and must be mixed with some type of extremely rigid crystal. I couldn't even scratch it with one of my spare diamonds! I even made sure it was sharp by testing it across Charles's back. Suffice to say, it was extremely sharp. I was so proud of it, I invited my friend Bill Gates to see it. He was impressed by the set, but disapoointed with the small price tag. So, as according to plan, I went ahead and had Charles throw it in the incinerator. However, to my surprise, it wouldn't melt! Initially, I thought the fires simply weren't strong enough. So I had charles throw a few extra letters and belongings from his deceased parents in there to better stoke the fire and tested it was up to par by throwing an ancient Viking helmet I had lying around in there. Sure enough, it melted within seconds. So, I threw the chess set back in and within a few minutes it did the trick. All in all, a very quality product, but I'd like if the price tag were a bit larger.