Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I needed to find a good insulated bottle, so I researched on Amazon and found all of the ridiculous high ratings for Zojirushi and thought "$20+ for an insulated bottle??" but then, you get what you pay for, so given that I'd spent funds on other bottles that didn't work, I figured I'd give this one a shot. I tried it first with coffee. I like coffee to cool down over the next few hours so you always have hot coffee, but as you get to the end, you can guzzle that sweet (or not) caffeine-filled beverage to give you the shot of energy you need to get through that 11am meeting that requires your presence even though you are only marginally involved and have a crapload of other things you need to do instead. (takes a breath) But I digress. I poured freshly hot coffee into this thermos, and thought "wow, this thermos isn't hot at all!" Later in the day, I made the giant mistake of assuming the coffee had cooled down. I went to take a sip of coffee and the hot fires of hell poured into my mouth instead. So, if you like coffee after it's been in your thermos for 4-5 hours and it will STILL burn off your tastebuds and render you unable to eat food, then this mug is for you. After discovering that using this for coffee wasn't my jam, I figured I'd try using it for ice water. One morning, I put some ice cubes in it and filled it with water and enjoyed refreshingly cold water early in the morning with my coffee (which was cooling down at a more normal pace in its normal mug). Towards the end of the day, I was a bit parched and picked up my Zojirushi. What was this? Ice cubes were STILL clinking around inside my bottle?? IMPOSSIBLE. So I picked it up and drank some water, and I'll be damned if it wasn't just as refreshing as it was early that morning. Later that evening, I took it home to my husband and shook the bottle, clinking the ice cubes. "These ice cubes have been in here since THIS MORNING BEFORE WORK." (And they weren't tiny ice slivers but still pretty big ice cubes.) "What??" my husband said. "They must be made out of some kind of alien metal or something." Which is a completely rational explanation. My own (arguably more likely) theory is that Zojirushi has somehow found a way to capture a rift in the space-time continuum, resulting in a stasis field which they've then managed to put into a bottle, essentially ensuring that anything in this vessel remains at exactly the same temperature for an unearthly amount of time. Whoever's theory to which you ascribe (mine is more likely, because, aliens? C'mon.), space and time are definitely involved. So I bought one for my husband and my daughter and now we are a matching Zojirushi family. (I may be buying others in the hopes we can somehow combine the stasis fields and create a "shelter" in case of a nuclear attack. My rating will then go to 11. I'll keep you posted.) *Details of recreated events may be slightly exaggerated for comical effect. Details of effectiveness of product are not. **(Just in case my husband is right) Aliens, please take note. Happy to be your interstellar salesperson if you come rescue us prior to potential aforementioned nuclear attack.