Bests & Worsts Reviews from Amazon

I have battled with my stupid, thick and wacky hair all my miserable life. My hair is a special snowflake breed of thick that is not so just because I have a lot of it but also because each shaft is very thick and coarse and basically as stubborn as that uncle you have who on Thanksgiving day has too much to drink and refuses to put his pants back on. Add to that the massive frizz factor and you have your basic formula for ridiculous cartoon character hair, like I style my hair by putting my finger in a socket every morning. Real Rosanne Rosannadanna hair and if you are too young to get the reference, look it up because Gilda Radner is an icon and comedic goddess and you are missing out. For as long as I can remember it has taken me an eon to blow it dry and then an eternity to straighten. Frodo could go from the Shire to that fire mountain thingie and back and I would still be trying to get the bumps out of the hair on the back of my head. Presidents enter and leave office (Ford, we barely knew ye), technological advances come and go (farewell, 8 track tapes), celebrities marry and divorce (not Liz Taylor and Richard Burton?!?) I enter the bathroom as if to go on expedition, waving a tearful farewell to my children, knowing when I emerge they will have children of their own. "We'll miss you, mother!" they cry, not understanding how we can live in a world with 3D printers, 10 Star Wars movies and apparently inexhaustible numbers of Kardashians and no way for a woman to get straight hair in her own home. Well, ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves because the future is today or whatever day you are reading this because MY today is not your today and my actual future but you know what I mean and I digress. This Wet 2 Straight product is a magic wand gifted from the Potterverse and no one was more shocked than I. I am a bit of a skeptic and what the heck can you expect for 20 bucks, right? I assumed even as I clicked the purchase button that there was no way this would work on my steel wool hair and that the money would be better spent on flying monkeys or invisibility cloaks or beer. But I.WAS. WRONG! These Remington people they know their stuff and they have created a product that, and this will be very hard to believe so brace yourself, actually DOES what they say it will do! Using this straightener feels like riding a unicorn while eating calorie free chocolate and drinking vodka that doesn't give you a hangover from the Holy Grail. It is just that good. Thank you, fair Remington, and huzzah for giving me back decades of my life that I can now waste on playing games on my phone, surfing the internet and writing Amazon reviews.